As I Fade Away
by elenasdamon
Summary: Elena finally felt happy, she was with Damon and she had the greatest friends she could ask for but something from Damon's past comes back to haunt him causing him to make a decision he never thought he would have to make. How will this decision affect Elena? After all the pain she had just went through a year ago, will she have to go through the same thing again?


**A/N** - Story contains strong language and sexual content(for future chapters)

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AS I FADE AWAY

**Prologue**

Elena was staring at the ceiling, she could hear the voices trying to talk to her but they all came out as a blur like they were there but they weren't. She felt numb and alone, this feeling had been going on for nearly a year now after he died, after Damon had died.

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"Damon, stop" Elena said giggling and biting her lip, Damon kept kissing her all around her neck as they rolled around in bed.

"Why would I stop now? I mean we only just started...well an hour ago at least" Damon smiled at Elena and gave her a deep passionate kiss which Elena was almost lost in but she was going to be late to Bonnie's birthday party which she had planned and she couldn't be late for. She playfully pushed Damon off of her and smiled at him

"You don't know how much I would love to continue this but we have to go, Bonnie's party starts in half an hour and I promised I wouldn't be late"

"I don't think being a couple minutes late will hurt anyone"

"You're such a bad influence but I'm not falling for it this time, just get dressed besides there's still tonight" Damon groaned and rolled his eyes, he only wanted to spend time with her and didn't want to show up to some birthday party no one was going to remember the next day anyway. Elena put on a rosy-pink dress with a pair of beige heels and then she turned around saw Damon admiring her, she looked up at him and could see his love for her and his eyes, all she wanted to do in that moment was jump back into that bed but instead she took his face into her hands and kissed him, she rubbed her thumb against his temple and looked up at him

"I love you, you know that right?

"Yeah of _course,_ I know"

"Well I thought I'd just remind you, now let's get going because I think we're actually late"

Elena and Damon walked hand in hand out the door, they both said goodbye to Stefan as he wasn't ready yet so he was finding his own way to the party, Elena got into Damon's Camaro and drove to Elena's home, the Gilbert home.

Damon and Elena finally arrived to the party while only being 10 minutes late, Elena walked quickly inside to wish Bonnie a happy birthday

"Bonnie! Happy Birthday best friend! You're 21 now! now we can drink with it actually being legal" Elena laughed and hugged her best friend, it was nice seeing Bonnie smile after what had just happened over a year ago.

"This is such a great party Elena and you did this all for me and it's so nice having everyone here, thank you so much you're literally the greatest best friend I've ever had" Elena smiled and hugged Bonnie once again then she raised her glass of champagne.

"Here's to Bonnie, one of the greatest people I've ever known. She's strong, kind- hearted and just lights up the room whenever she's around. Happy 21st Birthday Bon, you deserve an amazing one" The whole gang raised their glasses and cheered. After the speech, Matt and Tyler went into the living room to play video games, Caroline, Bonnie, Stefan and Damon were chatting it up in the kitchen and Elena suddenly didn't feel like hanging out down here anymore so she went upstairs and walked into Jeremy's room.

Elena gazed around her brother's room, it felt like forever since she'd been in here especially after what had happened. As soon as she sat down on his bed, it felt like a wave of the past just slammed her body and she began remembering everything that had occurred that one year ago, they had been on that island searching for that damned cure that everyone was after and she remembered walking into that cave finding Jeremy's lifeless body in the cave on that dirt covered ground, it was too hard for Elena to think about anything else that had happened during that time, she had wished so hard they never went looking for it but she knew wishing that would never change the past.

Elena thought coming up here would be easy for her but truth be told she knew deep down it would be harder each time which was one of the reasons she rarely stayed here like going to her room when knowing right next to your door your brother should be there but he isn't and wishing you could go back in time and fix it. Elena got off of Jeremy's bed and tears started forming in her eyes, she knew she couldn't keep it together while up here, she kept pacing around the room with her face in her hands, hoping that she could stop crying but everytime she tried to stop it was like the feeling in her stomach became worse and the more the tears came out but then she heard someone walk into the room and turned around and saw Bonnie at the door.

"Oh, Elena come here" Bonnie walked over to Elena and held her, they both sat on the bed and Elena continued to cry

"Hey, look at me" Elena looked at Bonnie, her face was bright red from crying so hard

"I know how you're feeling, we all miss him too. He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning, knowing he wasn't going to be here it made me feel like I was hit by a truck ten times but then I started smiling, Jeremy was one of the best things that happened to me, he was such a great person and I have you to thank for that. You're the strongest person I know, Elena Gilbert and an amazing sister and friend at that"

"Oh Bonnie, how can you say I'm strong? Look at me sitting here bawling my eyes out like a baby"

"The fact you are here bawling your eyes out should be one example of how strong you are, letting it out instead of keeping it in is one of the hardest things to do. We're always going to miss him there's no doubt about that but I'm sure wherever he is, he's happy and he'll always be looking over you Elena" Elena smiled at Bonnie and hugged her as tight as she could, she thought to herself how lucky she was to have Bonnie as a best friend. Elena and Bonnie both stood up and walked out of Jeremy's room

"So aside from all of this, I hope you enjoyed your party. I hope I didn't ruin it"

"Elena don't be silly, without you this party wouldn't of happened and I loved every single thing about it"

"Good" Elena said smiling, she had finally calmed down and felt better, "Let's go downstairs and finally cut your cake"

After everyone had sang happy birthday to Bonnie, they all hugged Elena for creating a great party and then started to head home. Elena felt like she hadn't been near Damon all night and all she wanted to do was to be near him.

"Hey you" Elena smiled, she gave him a quick hug and a kiss that she was dying for all night and she didn't realize that until now

"Hey yourself, I heard everything that happened upstairs earlier. Are you doing okay now?" Damon looked at Elena with worry in his eyes, he knew since Jeremy had died that Elena truly had never come to accept that fact that he was gone and he realized this considering she never wanted to spend time in her own house.

"I'm fine now, Bonnie talked to me and I've felt much better since"

"Good, It's nice to know my girl is doing okay. You ready to go home? I'm kind of _bored_"

Elena giggled, knowing what he wanted to do since he was "bored" although she really wanted to roll around in the sheets tonight, she just wasn't feeling up to it.

"I'm not really up for it, today has been a long day I'm sor-" Damon interrupted Elena knowing exactly what she was going to say.

"Look at me" Elena looked right into Damon's eyes, those light blue eyes she had fallen in love with always knew how to make her feel safe "Don't apologize at all, I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all that matters"

Elena gave Damon another quick kiss and started walking towards the door, she got into Damon's car and waited while Damon turned off all the lights in her house and locked the door behind him. She turned on the radio and put the seat back, relaxing while she waited for him. As he locked the door, it felt like something had flown past him but he didn't think anything of it and as he walked towards the car he felt it again but this time it talked, Damon thought he was hearing things and that he didn't really hear it say to him, "I found you".

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**Please review! Reviews are greatly appreciated and help me with writing, thank you :)**


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